Sunday, July 25, 2010

new joke

this one is about "lenny"


This young guy and his fiance are walking to their apartment in a sort of bad / sort of gentrified neighborhood.


They see a Rottweilier tied to a tree in the middle of a residential block. He's grey around the mouth, unhealthy looking, lying on some garbage. There is nobody around. The dog struggles to its feet and smiles at them as they pass. It seems odd and human like, the way the dog moves.


The young girls says, "there is something very mysterious about that dog. I think he just smiled at me. Do you think someone abandoned him?"


The thought makes them both feel sad. They look at him. He does seem to be smiling.


The young man says, "lets come back here in two hours and if he is still there we will take him home and name him Lenny."


The young girl says okay.


They come back in two hours, after he has cooked her a dinner. The dog is still there, lying on the dirty ground.


They debate it for a while, and then decide to take the dog home.


When they get him back they wash him in the tub using head and shoulders shampoo, and the young girl wonders aloud if Dogs can get get dandruff. The young man is sure of it. The dog meets their cat. They start referring to Lenny in baby talk voices. He sleeps at the foot of their bed that night.


In the middle of the night Lenny goes to an open window and produces a very strange sound; something between a meow and a fan. Like a high pitched hurrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


It is unlike any sound they have ever heard a dog make before. The couple is initially scared, but then they start to laugh.


Lenny makes the noise intermittently for most of the night, and eventually they become concerned for his health.


They decide to take him to an animal clinic the next day.


When they get to the animal clinic they tell the vet the story of how they found Lenny and about the weird noises he makes in the night.


"It's the weirdest thing," says the girl, "like a combination of a meow and a fan. like hurrrrrrrrrr or something."


The vet makes a grave face, as if she knows the sound and has dealt with it before.


"What is it?" says the girl.


"It could be a number of things," says the vet, "Let me take a look at him."


So the young couple waits in the waiting room, looking at pet magazines.


When the vet emerges she walks over to them and says "So Lenny.. it's Lenny, Right? Lenny's going to need a little operation."


"Oh no," says the girl, "will it be expensive?"


The vet tells them it will cost 800 dollars. "If you don't do it," she says, "he will just get worse."


"Let us go outside and think it over" says the young man.


Anyways, they ditched the dog.





Friday, July 16, 2010

Thursday, July 1, 2010