Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Things to Escape To

Video Lottery Terminals in a barroom, Drayton Valley, Alberta

Fantasy of being wealthy, famous + respected

Fantasy of being celebrated 'posthumously'

Fantasy of stumbling onto a 'period of unrestrained creativity'

Fantasy of moving to Paris, Berlin, Prague, Mexico City, Cabin in the woods somewhere

Fantasy of stumbling upon great business idea

Notion that free will is bogus and therefor I am not accountable for my failures; or that free will is only 23% causal in 'life' and 'career' and I can be forgiven for wandering and not planning well enough ahead

Vacations to Paris, Berlin, Prague, Mexico, Miami, Art Basel, cabin in the woods somewhere

Drug use

Blogs, Novels, Poetry, Short Story collections, Films, New Yorker magazine, music criticism

Notion that I am getting better at planning ahead

Notion that I have 'achieved' a mutually supportive relationship with good, smart, creative, understanding woman

Games of chasing cat around apartment, meowing at cat, tackling cat, listening to cat meow, and getting bitten by cat

Movie theatre

Work at the store

Ideas for structure of novel

Short stories I am writing, ideas about 'style'

Drinks with friends

The intense, dull pain of flossing for the first time in two months and coating the string with bright blood

Blog posts

Hockey statistics, scoring race in the NHL

Music I will vouch for


Memories of old friends that I have not grown apart from, times when I have acted 'out of character'

Feelings of accomplishment with regards to the 150,000 trees I planted last summer and the nearly 500,000 I have planted in my life thus far

Notions of limited free will with regards to my future career and literary prospects

Notion that a lot of people could be jealous of my life

Notion that things end up working out in the end, how they work out we don't know, but that my 'wanderlust' could be re-defined as 'integrity' or 'lack of ability to compromise,' which can be interpreted positively


Notion that a community college would probably hire me to teach, notion that there are a bunch of things that I could do that might be awesome and that I just haven't thought of yet

Hockey game tomorrow at Madison Square Garden and the smell of a hockey arena and the sounds of the echo in a hockey arena